The Most Famous Infertile Characters on TV (that I watch)

12 Jul

Besides thinking about all the regular stuff I think about (which is a lot floating around in there), fertility issues have been on my mind recently. I have seen or will see 19 of my friends have babies in 2015. Since we have started trying for Walt’s little brother or sister, I have known 35 women who have either given birth or told me that they were pregnant. I know that it is just that time in my life, but I see all the full bellies around me and wonder how has it not happened yet (again) for me? I love all these women and am overjoyed for them. I would love to hear all of their stories as to how they became mothers and what they are experiencing with each new life. And I would like to hear stories from women who don’t have children too. Is it by choice? By tragedy?

The Women

Monica Gellar Bing (Friends) — both her and her husband are found to be infertile after actively trying for over a year. They adopt twins from a dumb white girl. Earlier in her life, Monica thought about using a sperm donor when it took her a while to find a husband.

Alice Buffay (Friends)– Phoebe’s sister-in-law who can’t have kids because she is so much older than her young husband. They are able to use their egg and sperm in a surrogate, Phoebe. They end up having triplets that are hard to take care of but they love.

Dr. Addison Montgomery Shepherd (Grey’s Anatomy) — had a couple abortions, found herself single, infertile, but a very powerful doctor and surgeon. She had wanted to use a sperm donor but her old best friend, a divorced fertility specialist, told her she wouldn’t be able to have kids. She is divorced from the husband she cheated on and ends up moving to LA.

Dr. Miranda Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy) — tries to get pregnant for seven years, then when she finally is ready to make a big change and do something where she couldn’t have a child, she gets pregnant and has to put her plans on hold. She ends up divorcing her husband and the father of the baby.

Julia Braverman-Graham, Esq. (Parenthood) — secondary infertility after having a very smart little girl. Adopted an older boy who had developmental and anger issues. Was able to adopt infant siblings from the same birthmother and ends up with a big family, after almost divorcing because she had panic attacks from being a SAHM.

Kitty Walker (Brothers and Sisters) — could not have children. Adopted a multi-racial daughter and subsequently developed cancer and almost died. Eventually she became a widow and recharged her career as a strong Republican political figure.

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) — secondary infertility because of behavioral issues after having her first child at 16 and running away from home. Luckily the teenager raised her daughter to be a voraciously smart news reporter and editor, while she ran and owned a successful inn nestled in her small, quirky New England town.

Lily Aldrin Erikson (How I Met Your Mother) — takes a long time to get pregnant with her first child, but it happens naturally even though they go for a check up at the doctor’s. She somewhat accidentally gets pregnant with her second child near the end of the show. She continues to be motivated by her art and her kindergarten teaching.

Robin Scherbatsky (How I Met Your Mother) — never wants kids. One month she doesn’t get her period and she freaks out that she might be pregnant, but upon going to the doctor learns that she will never be able to have kids.

Trudy Campbell (Mad Men) — tries for many years to have a baby. Wants to adopt but her husband won’t allow it. He has an illegitimate child with his co-worker, Peggy Olson. Eventually they have a baby after they had given up trying.

Charlotte York (Sex and the City) — tries very hard to have a baby with her first husband, Trey. They end up divorcing because of the strain of that and his problems, sexual and otherwise. She and her second husband, Harry, adopt a baby girl from China. In a movie sequel, she and Harry have a biological daughter without any medical intervention.

Who am I missing?

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I saw this recently, and while I don’t like the use of the word “Lord” because it reminds me of masculine slavery, or royalty, I thought the meme was poignant. I think that this is where I should be. I should not care what I want, because what happens is what will happen. I can do nothing to really control any one particular outcome, obviously. But I can choose to be happy. I can continue to be a good influence in my community. Show up.

I attended a neighborhood ladies book club this week with my friend Mama C, and it was fun, entertaining, and interesting. I’ve wanted to be in a book club my whole life, since the one I was in in elementary school was disbanded for a reason I don’t remember. I tried to start one with my college friends. We agreed on a book, I was the only one who read it, and when the date came everyone canceled coming over to my house to talk about it. I tried to be in an online book club but failed to use my smartphone technology properly and missed the event. I liked the opportunity to meet more of my neighbors, and that Mama C rode her bike there. When I get a bike we will ride the neighborhood together!

Isn’t it funny the images we create of the things we think we want?

I watched Now and Then recently for the first time in a long time. I loved that movie when I was a kid, and it stood the test of time. I felt nostalgic while watching a movie about a nostalgic time I never experienced. I texted Jason, “I want to ride bikes with my friends in the ’70s!”

All day I have been thinking about the fun things I want to do with my son when he comes home from Nini’s house. I hope we all get to experience the magic of a time we enjoy. We can, and should, Choose Happy.

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